Waiting for your Adopted Child


Our journey towards family begins. You are Joyfully Expecting --waiting for your adopted child. This expectation can be maddening since there isn't a nine month time line or a growing belly to watch.

Adopting parents move from the proactive paperwork to the period of waiting for your adopted child. Expect it to take longer than you hope. If it doesn't, it will be a happy surprise. Virtually all adoptions are a roller coaster ride, with ups and downs and unexpected twists. Timing is one of them. It just takes longer than you think it should. I don't know about you, but I sure do have an awful lot of questions, hopes, and fears.

If I adopt a child, will he love me just as much as his current caregiver? If I adopt and infant, can I share her with her birth mother without jealousy. So how do you manage to get through these days, weeks, and months of waiting for your adopted child?

Be proactive. Prepare yourself. Prepare you home. Here are some activities to keep you busy while the wait progresses.

Prepare Yourself

  • Read, research and educate yourself! Find out about attachment issues, transition ideas, adoption issues you may face now and in the future, your child's country and culture. Attachment is a hot topic, with good reason. I’ll write more about attachment later on, but if there is only one thing I could recommend, it would be to “be prepared for the worst and hope for the best”. There are MANY strategies to help promote attachment. Research, research, research, put into action, then sit back and enjoy those early days!
    • Baby Books Guide a site for parents by parents. It is where you will find recommended books for your baby and about your baby as well as many other resources you will need in the first three years.

  • Network with other adoptive families – this could be in local support group meetings or on-line
    • Online Adoption Support

  • Pick out BABY NAMES More than just enjoying yourself you have probably already started thinking about your child. His personality? Her current situation? What is their caregiver calling them? Do you have names in mind? Names are so very important. There is much debate about re-naming your child. I personally want to rename my children - however I will be glad to share with them what their "first names" were when ever they want to know. I always wondered if my first mother had named me.


  • Journal your Thoughts/ Create a Scrapbook/Write a Blog Write down your hopes, your dreams and your anxieties. These expressions will help to keep it all in perspective. Consider what a wonderful gift it will be for your child. You longed, hoped and dreamed for him (or her) for months on end. How treasured that will make them feel! Don't forget to update Friends and Family who are supporting you with prayer and funds.

    • My Favorite Adoption Journey Blogs

    The New Journey-Kyrgyzstan"On our one-year anniversary, we decided it was time for us to add to our family and made the decision to adopt internationally..."
    Incredible Journey
    Adoption Journal - UK Adoption from the UK."...He asked me if there was anything I thought might get in the way of our being allowed to adopt. I told him about my worries about age and weight. He was very reassuring and told me lots of people much fatter than me, and much older than my husband had successfully been approved for adoption.." Adoption Journal - First Steps
    Russian Princess ..."All in all, this has been a fairy tale, not without it's ups and downs, I mean she is a stubborn drama queen who'd like to run the show. She has added so much to our family ..." LookingforGrace
    International Family

    "Our 12 year old was adopting from Korea when she was 6 months. We just came home in July from living the month of June in Guatemala with our new 4.5 year old daughter." MarrissaFaith
    Russian Girls "...Married to a wonderful husband for 10 years, mom to 3 amazing bio boys and 2 wonderful daughters from Russia." MothertoFive
    Foster Daddy Diaries

    Prepare your HOME

  • Set up your child's room. Let your thoughts go beyond what color you are going to paint it, and the bedding...do you know what you should have stocked in your child's room? Here's a printable list of the basics you will want to stock based on your children's ages.

    • Baby Basics: Baby Clothes, Basic Layette, Feeding and Bedding Needs
    Older Child basics: Stocking a room for a child 3 and up

  • Childproof your Home! If you haven't started already, live like there are little one's running around. You probably had to put locks on the cubboards.
    However, when you take your medicines do you still leave them on the sink counter?
    Do you turn the pot handles inward and cook on the back burners primarily?

    Creating positive habits NOW will help to insure your child's safety when s/he is home. Kids Health Childproofing List

    Other Links of Interest
    Fundraising: Making Adoption Affordable
    Thoughts from an Adoptee adopting,infant adoption,child proof,parenting,behavior

    footer for waiting for your adopted child page

    		•