Searching For Birth Parents & First Family
6 million Americans, are adoptees. Including biological parents, adoptive parents, and siblings, this means that 1 in 8 Americans are directly touched by adoption. Searching for birth parents and first family is something most adoptees surveyed did at one point in time. Adoptive parents are the critical link in helping an adoptee with the search. Honor your child's request to know more about their biological family. Don't take it as a personal attack on you, simply a natural desire to find one's identity. Once you're ready to undertake an adoption search, however, these steps will help you get started on the journey. Beginning the Search
The first objective of an adoption search is to discover the names of the birth parents who gave you up for adoption, or the identity of the child you relinquished.
Just like a genealogy search, an adoption search should always begin with yourself. In a spiral binder, write down everything you know about your birth and adoption, from the name of the hospital in which you were born to the agency which handled your adoption. For me, the hospital information was the most important. My birth records were forever sealed, however my mother's admittance records were not! From there I was able to get names and addresses of family members. We are now reunited.The best place to turn next, is your adoptive parents. They are the ones most likely to hold possible clues. Write down every bit of information they can provide, no matter how insignificant it may seem. If you feel comfortable, then you can also approach relatives and family friends with your questions. For many of us, that can be very difficult.Contact the Agency or the State that handled your adoption for your non-identifying information. This non-identifying information will be released to the adoptee, adoptive parents, or birthparents, and may include clues to help you in your adoption search. The amount of information varies depending upon the details that were recorded at the time of the birth and adoption. Each agency, governed by state law and agency policy, releases what is considered appropriate and non-identifying, and may include details on the adoptee, adoptive parents, and birth parents. On some occasions, this non-identifying information may also include the parents ages at time of birth, the age and sex of other children, hobbies, general geographical location, and even the reasons for the adoption.Register in State and National Reunion Registries, also known as Mutual Consent Registries, which are maintained by government or private individuals. These registries work by allowing each member of the adoption triad to register, hoping to be matched with someone else who might be searching for them. One of the best is the International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR).
This is a passive registry, which means that no one will use the information you give them to actively search for the other person(s), but if the other party has registered also, information about you will be given to them, and vice versa. ISRR uses a database to make computer matches based on similar or matching information.
International Soundex Reunion RegistryP.O. Box 2312Carson City, NV 89701(775) 882-7755(Send a self-addressed, stamped envelope for a registration form)
I registered on every FREE Reunion registry that I could find. I spent hours creating entries. But, IT WORKED! It was through a "search angel" that I was able to make contact and have a relationship with my 1/2 sister. Don't give up. I had to search for 12 years. Keep in mind I wasn't obsessed with searching for my birth parents. Mostly on my birthday month, I would make a resolution to find 20 more places to post my information. Then I would move on with living my life for another year. Searching for birth parents shouldn't take over your life, just be a small part of it!
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