Whether you are adopting trans-racially or not, there are special considerations in transracial adoption. The focus of this article is to help the adoptive parents considering transracial adoption, raise confident children who are secure and confident with all aspects of their racial identity.So, just how do you impart that confidence in your transracially adopted children? Teaching Our Kids involves some of the following: Modeling correct language, terminology, and racial awareness: Look at your own prejudices or those that may be present in the people who surround you. Make sure you know correct terminology for the ethnicities that comprise your child. Some are hard to know with certainty – i.e. some people prefer the term African-American, others refer to themselves as Black (with capitalization). Some people claim Hispanic decent, others self-refer as Latino/Latina. Some terms have to do with geography, some do not. Providing role models: Transracial Adoption may involve stretching your own comfort zone to find friendship with families like your own. Your children may need someone that they can ask questions of; yet at the same time, who can just be in their lives so that they know someone “like them.” Celebrations, rituals and traditions: If there are cultural celebrations, rituals or traditions in your child’s cultural background, try to find a way to incorporate these into the fabric of your family life. You can also make up your own traditions. Our family made up a holiday that we’ve celebrated for several years now, and it’s our favorite time of the whole year! Listen: Even in our “enlightened society” there are undercurrents of racial tension. Experts say that children start becoming aware of racial differences during their preschool years! A three year old foster child is VERY AWARE that her skin color differs from those around her. She is also AMAZED to see so many people who HAVE the same color as her in the stores and neighborhood. Thus your children will make statements about skin color, and may ask questions. These are “teachable moments.” Be sure to listen for the “sub-text” of daily conversations as well. If children are being teased about their heritage, it may come out in “round-about” ways.Provide culturally sensitive play items: As I search out online resources for announcements, and cutesy family caricature labels and cards, I have had an extremely difficult time finding anything for bi- and multi-racial families. I decided that my daughters needed to have items that reflected their interests as well as their color. I created my own. Visit my store at www.cafepress.com/many_colors Know that if your cultural identity differs from that of your child, it may be hard to understand some of the issues that come up. But if you listen, and work to provide culturally sensitive role models, your children will trust that you are truly there for them.
Empathy, Not Advice.
Focusing on the good intentions or good character of the perpetrator, and /or attempting to relate it to our own experience can shut your child down and make them feel like you can't relate and don't really understand.
Build Connections
Identity exploration must be encouraged in our children. Providing our children with books, videos and other materials that relate to their ethnic and racial identity. We need to make sure that we provide opportunities for our children to connect with children who share their heritage, to be surrounded by racial and ethnic diversity and to connect with adults who can be their role models.
Recommended Books
Support Heritage
Children of color are unable to ignore their ethnicity as it is inextricably tied to race. As our children develop their racial and ethic identity, it is imperative that we actively work to counter racism in our environment and in ourselves.
Validate Our Children's Experiences
It's important to encourage our children to talk about even their mos painful painful experiences WITHOUT attempting to offer alternative explanations or denying their reality. We don't want to isolate our children. It's critical to keep the lines of communication open with our children so that don't internalize painful experiences. Helping our children to develop a strong self-esteem and ethnic pride are critical for preparing your children to resist racism. You don't want your child to internalize the racist attitudes she counters. You want her to be so sure of herself that it is obvious to her that racism is the the other person's problem, not hers. Caring for you Black or Biracial Child's Hair iPride: Family Pride in Mixed Heritage
Celebrating Diversity Support Groups
GREAT READING to your KIDS
Racial Identity: What ARE you? How to help your child establish a good self image.
transracial adoption, international adoption, multicultural, race
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