How to Foster, Adoption through the US Foster SystemHow to Foster a Child - Successfully!!how to foster, foster adoption, free adoption, foster parenting
Is the foster system really so "broken" that we aren't able to care for and adopt waiting children here in the US? Some would say adopting in the US through the social services system is too much of a hassle going through paperwork, red tape and changing social workers to be worth it. Others are long time "career" foster parents. So here I am a successful foster adoptive mother. Four years later and dozens of children have come and gone through my home - three beautiful girls stayed permanently. How to Foster a Child - Successfully 1. Asses the amount of time and energy you have available to dedicate I became a foster adoption parent with the sole intention of adopting a child in need of a permanent home. Those first 6 months of transition I dedicated every spare moment to getting to know my children and letting them know me. I limited my contact with the outside world (and because of their age) helped them learn to depend on me and trust me. My young children suffered neglect and dealt with abandonment issues for almost three full years. It was NOT overwhelming because I went in fully aware that they would need extra time and attention. I didn't neglect myself I simply shifted those times to after the children went to bed. I went into the role of foster parenting KNOWING that it was ALL ABOUT THEM for a time. I think our family is stronger for it. If you can't have kid chatter with your morning coffee or silly stories while you are driving on the road then you might want to start training yourself to get use to it. Turn on a morning cartoon before you finish your first cup of joe and put on some nonsense talk radio on your way home from work. Learn to tune into these little things and you will better be able to show your "new" children the attention they will crave from you. TIP: Every - and I mean of the dozens of foster children that I have been blessed with caring for - child feels the need to interrupt adult conversation. Even though I didn't spend a lot of time with outside guests in my home, the minute someone began a conversation with me, immediately the foster child would have an urgent need to tell me about something that happened a week ago. At first it frustrated me, but if expect it you can use the moment to train positive behaviors. 2. Married couples - it takes TWO to make the decision to foster a child I can't stress this enough. If both you and your spouse aren't whole heartily into committed to adding a child to your family (whether temporarily or permanently) then it won't work. Depending on the age of the child, they can sense the lack of participate or desire and will assume its something they did. Children can also use that as a wedge to drive spouses apart from one another and cause strife. You must both be dedicated to pull an extra load for a while when the adjustment period (3 - 12 months) is happening. A child is extra work and responsibility. If you both commit to each other to share the "burden" of this workload then a child will strengthen the marriage bond.
3. There is no perfect time - no perfect child - Expect to do some footwork. Next month you will get the bonus, next year you will saved enough for the new car. Right now, there is a child who needs someone to hold him while he cries. This moment she needs a gentle word to help her make a positive decision as she is at a crossroad. As the commercials have said, there isn't a perfect parent and there isn't perfect children. There are TOO MANY children without permanent homes and stable families for us to put off being there for them. want to know more about adopting through the foster system faster...Ouradopt.com 4. Choose to take time for you - so you can help them Determine your steps to be the ones bring them home. I chose to be a foster parent because I was seeking to adopt. I stay ed certified as a foster parent because I saw a need for foster families to have someone to care for their foster children while they stepped away from the intensity of situations to get a breather. Its called respite. I use to think, "how awful a foster parent wouldn't want to take their foster child on vacation." However, there are those foster children (whether labeled special needs or not) that carry such an emotional burden parents need to step away and get refreshed so that they can come back renewed to help that child with those intense emotions. Many times just a few days away is all both of them need to get a clearer picture of each other. I was blessed every single time I got to provide respite for families. When you need to - take time for yourself so that you can help fight through a broken system with a wounded child. Commit yourself to this child wholeheartedly. Its not about you - its about them. They are wounded and need your support to heal. 5. Be prepared to "go to bat" and advocate for your foster child You are the one who is in their "corner". You live the day to day with them. If you feel - as their parent - something should be done different. Don't be afraid to speak up and speak loud. Several foster mothers I have known personally felt their children would benefit from additional intensive counseling. They continued to speak up to everyone involved in the children's cases. Things were changed to the benefit of the children. Seek out resources to help your foster child. MANY places offer scholarships or reduced tuition for classes and events if you mention the child's desire whether its dance or music, art or drama and even sports. Allowing your child to experience an outlet for emotions and a place to be successful will give them a future and a hope. That's what so many of these children need. Someone to believe in them and give them hope. The fact is, there are good case workers, social workers and agencies and there are some that are not so good. Finding the right agency is a start. Then build a support network with access to training and information keeps successful foster parents loving their job. Below are some GREAT RESOURCES if you are considering How to Foster, Adoption through the US Foster System. Children need someone to hold them, love them and tuck them in! The Journey to your Child Begins with your First Steps. (BLOG) Free Adoption. Children from Foster Care. Parenting a Foster Child: Resources and Support Mother's Hopes and Fears: Am I strong enough to love and let go?
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