Congrats YOU ARE A FAMILY!

You now have an adopted child.

This moment you have waited, longed and dreamed of. Your adopted child is finally home. Do you know what to expect? Here's some insight from other adoptive parents about those first few days.

Realize that the initial adjustment will affect everyone in your family. The length and intensity of the adjustment will depend on factors that primarily out of our control those include your child's age, personality and background.

The best thing you can do is educate yourself so that you can act - rather than react - to your new children. Always remember, you have had time to prepare. Many times, your child(ren) didn't have time.

Have you heard of the "HONEYMOON" period?

For many families there is a period of time when both children and parents are on their best behavior. However, more often it is negative behaviors which are common and of concern in the initial adjustment period. Sleeping problems are mentioned the most. In addition, excessive crying, aggressiveness, even anger and disobedience. There are many articles on these topics, however don't let them overwhelm you.

Consider the mother who has just gone through 24 hours of intensive labor and had a C section. She comes home exhausted and has to wake every other hour to feed her baby.She too has a period of adjustment!

Helping Yourself Adjust You can adjust! Keep a journal and you will see the daily progress. Put all the reading you did before - into action. Adoption Library Need an answer from someone who has been there? Join and participate in Online Support Groups.

Advice from those who have been there

Don't OVERWHELM your child with visits with family and friends

As with any expectant parent, the first thing you want to do is SHARE with all those who have been waiting and praying for your adoption. But, the reality is, your child is adjusting and needs to be with just you for a period of time. Over stimulating the child will cause an anxious, overwhelmed and cranky. This is probably not how you want family to see your child. Once your child is home, plan on spending several weeks (some say even months) with just your nuclear family and your new child. This is critical to building trust and bonding.

NOT to leave your family & friends in the dark - You can share your child in videos and photos until your child is comfortable with you to know they will be kept safe in your presence.

Another Option: One social worker suggested taking the child to a park and inviting friends and family to the park. It's a setting outside the home. Especially for a toddler or older child, a park (pizza parlor) the expectation is that there will be strangers there. Less anxiety and more space might help to alleviate a child's fears and anxiety.

Help the child choose a comfort item