Bonding Attachment Adoption
The greatest fear every adoptive parent has to overcome is the thought that their adopted child will not bond to them. Bonding and Attachment in adoption is a process. Somedays I just want to hug my children and that will be the button that makes them feel that I am their forever mommy. The end. They won't have that fear anymore. Unfortunately, my hugs and kisses provide their needed security some days. Then other days, they are uncertain about me in their future. The lack of attachment could cause serious family strife, a sense of failure and the feeling that the child doesn't love me. Fear of attachment and bonding issues is a huge obstacle for many when it comes to adopting older children (any child older than an infant.)
Attachment is an issue with some children. A child has lived their life before coming to our home. They have baggage that is heavy for a young child to carry and they need help to learn how to deal wit h the grief and sorrow. A prepared parent can help to ease the transition and quicken the bonding experience. I would recommend starting with some simple training, this will set the ground work of knowledge.
FREE Training Bonding & Attachment
Read up on attachment issues and what others have done to help their children learn to love.
Here's some great attachment activities
Create for yourself TOOLS to assist your and your child in the bonding process
My favorite book and one recommended by many adoption agencies that specialize in adopting older children is Deborah Grey's; Attaching in Adoption. Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents
This book is so PRACTICAL. It's a wonderful informational resource and reference for adoptive parents, particularly those who must help a young child adapt and cope with trauma, grief, or anxiety. Filled with examples, case studies, research, and useful advice, Attaching in Adoption is an excellent primer adoptive or would-be adoptive parents. Don't miss this one.
Don't over think this one. Be prepared but not WORRIED! You don't know what issues your child will have, having tools prepared will make your job easier and the transition less harrowing.
Tools to Help your Child with Attachment Issues
Adopting an Older Child. Healing & Feelings.
Parenting Tips for Older Child Adoption.
Heart warming stories of Older Child Adoption
Support Groups: The key to your Successful Transition