Biracial Adoption – How to Raise a Confident Biracial Child

So, just how do you impart that confidence in your biracial children?

Teaching Our Kids involves some of the following:

Accurate depictions:Biracial children need to feel good about both of the heritages that they descend from. There should be pictures in the home that reflect both cultures and they should be accurate and up-to-date.

Modeling correct language, terminology, and racial awareness:Look at your own prejudices or those that may be present in the people who surround you. Make sure you know correct terminology for the ethnicities that comprise your child. Some are hard to know with certainty – i.e. some people prefer the term African-American, others refer to themselves as Black (with capitalization). Some people claim Hispanic decent, others self-refer as Latino/Latina. Some terms have to do with geography, some do not.

Providing role models:Biracial Adoption may involve stretching your own comfort zone to find friendship with families like your own. Your children may need someone that they can ask questions of; yet at the same time, who can just be in their lives so that they know someone “like them.”

Know the history:It is important to know your child’s cultural history in context, and be aware of “revisionist thinking.” For children of both Caucasian and African-American descent, they have the shared contentious history of slavery. Some history books have “sanitized” cultural conflicts around the world. Your children may know one version of their history that may differ greatly from what they are taught in school or by the other half of their heritage. Cultural conflicts do exist and need to be treated sensitively.

Diversity:Your children need to see both parts of their racial identity depicted positively. However, they also need to see other cultures depicted in the same way. Particularly if your children come from a background where both halves of their racial identity have experienced conflict, they need to see that people of different cultures and backgrounds can get along. Additionally, though some children may receive accurate depictions of their own backgrounds, they may have not been given that information about other cultures. Some cultures that have experienced extreme discrimination, sadly, can also practice discrimination and distrust toward others.

Celebrations, rituals and traditions:If there are cultural celebrations, rituals or traditions in your child’s cultural background, try to find a way to incorporate these into the fabric of your family life. You can also make up your own traditions. Our family made up a holiday that we’ve celebrated for several years now, and it’s our favorite time of the whole year!

Listen:Even in our “enlightened society” there are undercurrents of racial tension. Experts say that children start becoming aware of racial differences during their preschool years! Thus your children will make statements about skin color, and may ask questions. These are “teachable moments.” Be sure to listen for the “sub-text” of daily conversations as well. If children are being teased about the duality of their heritage, it may come out in “round-about” ways.Provide culturally sensitive play items: As I search out online resources for announcements, and cutesy family caricature labels and cards, I have had an extremely difficult time finding anything for bi- and multi-racial families. I decided that my daughters needed to have items that reflected their interests as well as their color. I created my own. Visit my store at www.cafepress.com/many_colors

Know that if your cultural identity differs from that of your child, it may be hard to understand some of the issues that come up. But if you listen, and work to provide culturally sensitive role models, your children will trust that you are truly there for them.

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