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Adopt an Older Child. Parenting Tips. Part 2
Love is NOT always enough Reality check- these kids who are adopted past infancy- had a life before you knew them. Many suffered unspeakable trauma. There needs to be healing, and love an element of that, doesn't completely do it! READ. READ. READ. That is what this site is all about. Before your ref feral. After your refferal. Before you get your child placed in your arms. Educate yourself. Don't let it overwhelm you. Don't read the stories of the pain some families experienced, unless they encourage you of the hope. Gather tools, seek out therapists and social workers. Be ready with a plan of "attack" to get your child to a place of healing. Adjustment isn't Linear. Each day, doesn't necessarily get better than the next. Your child will take two steps back, retest the bridge and then move forward. It's all apart of the process. Sometimes it's hard to endure. That's when having a support group around is paramount. It does get better. Remember, this too shall pass When things are going badly, it feels like it is going to last forever. Keep the long term in perspective. Not everything will be "fixed". It's all about the journey of acceptance of your unconditional love of your child. Sisters don't happen overnight The "new" child might feel threatened by older children. Perhaps because of past situations or maybe because they have been here first and she feels like the new kid. prepare your children. Help them to understand the whys behind a new sibling's often puzzling behavior. encourage empathy. Ask for their help to make the newest member welcome. Also let them know that you love them too! It's a new family that takes some adjustment.
My Child is Overwhelmed with Feelings? What do I do?
Happy stories of International Adoptions
Tools to Help your Adoption Bonding Experience
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